How to Find Your Soulmate & Build a Conscious Relationship
Apr 30, 2026
I receive many inquiries from people who ask me, “How to find your soulmate?” They want someone with whom they can deeply merge on all levels, body, mind and soul.
It appears to be an innate human longing, to merge so deeply with another that we sense ourselves disappearing into each other and becoming one soul in two bodies. Not everyone manages to have this experience in their lifetime, and yet it seems to be a universal longing.
I have deeply lived and continue to experience the phenomenon of the Soul Mate. For many years, I have been helping others to live this as well. In fact, I have been teaching a training for couples called the Soul Mate Seven Level Training since 1998. The training takes 3 ½ years to complete and typically, a couple will go through 500 hours of theory and practice. Yes, it takes great dedication, and yes, it is TOTALLY worth it! I call it the journey of a lifetime!
What is a True SoulMate?
We have all heard the expression Soul Mates. What does it mean? Is it really true that each person has a mate somewhere in this vast universe who is the perfect other half? A soulmate is a person with whom you experience consistent emotional safety, deep understanding, and natural compatibility. To find soulmate connection means meeting someone with who you can build a stable, loving relationship across body, mind, and soul.
A Soul Mate is also someone with whom you can experience the meeting and merging of your seven chakras and energy bodies. By default, this means you need to clear and open the vertical pathway of your own chakra system just as your partner needs to do this with their own chakra system. And alongside this, you will need to do Tantra practices together which are aimed at the merging and melting of both of your chakra systems simultaneously.
Read: What is a Soulmate & How to Know If You've Found the One
Types of Soul Mates
There are several different types of powerful connections people can have, giving rise to intense feelings of attraction and bonding.
1. Karmic attraction: These attractions are due to incomplete issues from another life, which could be either negative or positive.
2. Projections: Due to childhood wounds, we seek to vicariously live out something which is suppressed in us, by choosing a partner who reminds us of someone we were close to in Childhood, whether that be a mother / father/ brother/ or sister, etc.
Invariably, this partner will adroitly press our buttons, thus provoking strong reactions, which continue in an endless feedback loop, like a stuck record. Often, through this kind of relationship, we are trying to somehow force the lover to become the “Good Daddy’ or the ‘Good Mommy’ who we always wanted. Naturally, the partner will rebel against being put into a box of your design and such relationships are often very conflicted.
3. Chemistry: The power of pheromones and body chemistry should not be underestimated as a strong draw in love relationships. After all, we are animals, and sex hormones are the rulers of the roost when it comes to physical attraction!
4.Soul Calling: The couple discovers a profound attraction based on their mutual dedication to the same cause. Perhaps they are part of the same spiritual group, or are both artists, writers, musicians or scientists. Maybe they want to help the environment or are passionate about massage and healing. Sometimes people say they are part of the same ‘Soul Group’ and it is for this reason they are attracted to each other. The feeling is one of companionship, two fellow travellers walking the same path.
5. Parenthood: I read a book by a Medium who had a Near Death experience. While dead, she went to the realms in-between lives and among other very interesting experiences she recounts how souls choose their parents. She witnessed numerous souls, who needed a particular type of parental situation, being very active in bringing their parents together and making sure they had sex at the opportune moment for this soul to incarnate. I guess we could call this an arranged marriage from the Soul Level! In this sense, it is wise to pay attention to who is pulling the strings when you feel an attraction to someone!
6. Inner Man / Inner Woman: We are all both male and female. If we are in a female body, in most cases, female energies and attributes will be predominant while male attributes will be the lesser percentage. And if we are in a male body, male attributes will be predominant while the female qualities will be a lesser percentage. With Tantra practices, we dance with our inner male or inner female through the opening of the chakra system and the rising of Kundalini energy. Ultimately, we can experience the inner marriage of male and female, a merging of the right and left sides of the brain, a deep experience of inner ecstasy and oneness. When we are attracted to a man or a woman it is often because this person somehow reminds us of the imprint we carry of our inner male / inner female.
7. Soul Mate: A Soul Mate is someone with whom you resonate together with in all the 7 chakras. This person may be with you because of sexual, karmic or other types of attraction. All these types of attraction come and go, being of a transitory nature, which depends on vibrational similarity. You can choose to develop the union, nurturing it to its ultimate potency. The ultimate potency happens, when you work through the more dense reasons for being together and discover how to experience union on all levels, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually.
The Mirror of Relationship
Like a fine wine, relationships take time to mature. The taste of a mature relationship is pure bliss and gratitude. You merge sexually and you are one. You look into each other’s eyes, and you are one. You meditate together, and you are one. You sleep together and melt into one breath.
Just as a garden is not grown in a day, but takes years of working with the Earth, communing with the devas, weeding and watering, so it is with a relationship and especially a Soul Mate Relationship.
Each relationship is a mirror, body and soul. When looking at or experiencing the other, we see and experience ourselves reflected back. When we meet another, we are meeting our potential, to expand into all that we can be. The other will challenge us to awaken in the truest sense.
Manifesting Your Perfect Match
When one person meditates, does yoga, eats healthy and otherwise takes care of their physical and spiritual well being, this person will evolve and become a more radiant human being. However, just by working on yourself, does not mean you will necessarily have a radiant relationship. You may have the best meditation of your life and then come down for breakfast and have the most horrendous fight with your lover. You may wonder, “How is this possible?” Why is it happening like this?” The reason is, because the relationship is a third entity. It has a life of its own!
If you wish to evolve the relationship, it is important to meditate together in Sexual Union. The space where you experience deepest intimacy needs to be nurtured into deeper, more naked love, more expansive states of Consciousness. It is challenging, but ultimately the most satisfying and fulfilling experience of life.
Becoming Love Itself
I believe that life has handed us a golden opportunity to become love itself, and relationship is the greatest catalyst for this to happen.
I have been teaching the Tantra Soul Mate Training for Lovers for many years, in order to help lovers everywhere experience the phenomenon of the Soul Mate. Love the one you are with in full consciousness and experience your relationship blossoming into a Soul Mate Relationship. It all depends on how open you are, how alive you are in all of your chakras.
As we move through the Soul Mate Training, we discover the density of relationship is the fuel to awaken the fire of consciousness. It is extraordinary to experience this metamorphosis.
In a sense, as a Tantra Teacher, I am like a housewife who knows some really good recipes to delight your palette. As you follow the recipes, you discover a whole wealth of experiences in love relationship that you may never have dreamt were possible.
Deepak Chopra says, “Ultimately, the true purpose of all relationships is to move beyond the ordinary waking state of consciousness into Cosmic consciousness, God consciousness and Unity consciousness. “
How to Practice Tantra Meditation in the Couple
When we practice Tantra meditation in the couple, it is most helpful to do this as a series of Tantra Practices. We devote ourselves to the practice for perhaps, 21 love appointments. Then, once this particular series is done, we then let go of any practice and return to our default state of being.
This way of embarking on the Tantra Journey ensures that we will discover a balanced state of being.
When the couple have been living their life in an ordinary way for some time and then feel a thirst arising to again attain those beautiful heights of love and intimacy, they can then move into a new series of Tantra meditations. In this way, the Tantra Journey continues for the couple, doing a series of practices and then letting go of it, and then embarking on a new series, and so on, through the seven levels.
Many couples report to me that they never knew it was possible to attain such profound states of consciousness, intimacy and ecstasy through relationship and sexual union. They are simply blown away. And of course, over time, they will have an ever-deepening experience of the Soul Mate.
Read: From Lovers to Soulmates: Explore Our Couples Tantra Workshops
Chakras: The Tantra Map for Ecstatic Union
Chakras are energy vortexes in the subtle body, which channel refined cosmic energy through the physical body. The chakra system also has a physical aspect, linked to bundles of nerves, located at specific places all along the spine. These bundles of nerves send information into the central nervous system, organs and glands.
For thousands of years in the East, particularly in India, the chakra system has been used as a map to help spiritual seekers find their eventual reunion with source, or what is commonly referred to as ‘Enlightenment.’
Imagine a multifaceted diamond, which represents our original pristine oneness. As the light of creation shines through this diamond of consciousness, the light fractures into all the colours of the rainbow. Each colour carries a certain frequency, representing a particular life lesson. Each of the main seven chakras holds one of these colours and lessons. When we have lived through the lesson represented by that particular chakra, we automatically become more radiant and wise. When all colours of the rainbow merge, the result is white light, representing pristine diamond consciousness.
The chakra system also holds a vital key for true love and the ecstatic union of male and female. An easy way to understand this is to realize the obvious fact, that in the first chakra (sex centre), the man is emissive and the woman is receptive, creating magnetic attraction. But the union of male and female in the first chakra is only the beginning. Just as you experience orgasm with your beloved in the first chakra, it is also possible to experience union and orgasm in each of the 7 chakras. The positive polarity for the male and female are reversed as we rise up through the chakra system, from sex centre to crown. As you explore this map and all it represents, you will be able to discover the key, which unlocks the phenomenon of the Soul Mate. The experience of the Soul Mate is achieved through orgasmic union of all seven chakras between a man and a woman.
Male Positive Polarities in the Chakra System
The Chakras listed below are emissive in the male body and receptive in the female body.
| Chakra | Location | Core Lesson | Element | Color |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st Chakra | Sex Centre | Sexuality, groundedness, security | Earth | Red |
| 3rd Chakra | Solar Plexus | Wisdom; becoming vast enough to contain all contradictions in life | Fire | Yellow |
| 5th Chakra | Throat | Expression of truth; becoming a co-creator with the divine | Ether | Turquoise |
Female Positive Polarities in the Chakra System
| Chakra | Location | Core Lesson | Element | Color |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2nd Chakra | Lower Belly | Portals of birth and death; emotional fluidity | Water | Orange |
| 4th Chakra | Heart | Compassion, nurturing, becoming Love itself | Air | Green or Pink |
| 6th Chakra | Forehead (between the eyebrows) | Clairvoyance | Mental cognition / awareness | Indigo Blue |
Fitting Together Like Lock and Key
The true empowerment and liberation of women and men will become possible when both are able to open up the flow of life force energy in their emissive chakras, thereby embodying the wisdom inherent in those particular areas. When the emissive chakras are opened up, the receptive chakras are easily able to receive the gifts offered by the opposite sex. In this exchange, we discover that we are made to fit together like lock and key. Contradictions become complementary opposites, and we know at last that harmony is our natural state.
Ask Sarita: How to Manifest The Ideal Partner
I love to answer your questions, so if there’s something you’d like advice on, please contact us. Here I answer a question on manifesting the soul mate relationship and finding authentic love.
Question:
Hi Sarita,
If a passionate sensitive person has no outlet for passion, as in, having a partner no matter how hard one tries, why do blocks to a satisfying full passionate relationship keep happening, leaving that passionate sensitive person isolated and frustrated, on a rock so to speak?
Answer:
Usually such a situation will arise if there are self limiting beliefs which are ruling your life from the subconscious. It is good to have healing sessions with someone who is gifted in doing regression work, particularly within the arena of relationships. It could be, for example, that you were hurt in a previous relationship, and deep down, there is a belief which says, “Relationships are dangerous. I may get hurt again.”
Your conscious mind may be thinking that you really want a relationship, but your subconscious may be putting out a strong message that actually you distrust women. Women are highly intuitive, and can read what is in the aura without even knowing that they are doing that. So you may be saying, “I want to get close to you,” and they may be hearing, “but not too close because I don’t want to get hurt again.”
A basic law of existence is that you receive exactly that which you have put out as a command to existence. For more details on this subject, you can see my webinar on the Great Law of Magic and you could also read the book, Cosmic Ordering. It is important that we become conscious as to the commands we are putting out.
In my work, I have been living on a steady diet of miracles, seeing people on the verge of divorce find love again, or people who cannot find a lover, meeting their soul mate. Sometimes, it is a relatively slow process. Perhaps the person needs to come and do three, four or five groups before the miracle happens. For others, it may happen the first time. It seems to have something to do with how willing the person is in exposing their vulnerability and moving into the meditations and exercises with full totality.
And of course, the number one question that has to be asked is: do you love yourself? If you love yourself, you automatically become much more attractive to others. If you are disgusted by yourself, then this disgust will appear in your aura like a grey cloud, and people will feel disgusted by you. It really is that simple. Love yourself, and you become lovable.
If someone does not love themselves, then they will approach the other like a beggar. (“I don’t love myself, but I hope you will fill up my empty begging bowl and make me happy.”) What is needed is to love yourself so much that you become an emperor or empress of love. You are so full of love, that sharing love with another becomes an overflowing phenomenon. And when two overflowing beings meet, you have a huge river of love, which becomes a blessing to you and your partner and also to others.
