Kunyaza: A Traditional African Approach to Female Pleasure
Jan 29, 2026
The first time I went a full year without penetration, it wasn’t planned. It happened naturally, as I was entering the mysterious, magnetic beginning of my Tantric studies. I was diving deep into energy work, breath, and the awakening of subtle awareness in my body. Penetration became unnecessary; almost irrelevant—compared to the ocean of sensations and sound states I was discovering within.
Years later, already teaching Tantra, I felt called again to a vow of abstention. This time, it was one year without ejaculation or penetration. I wanted to know: happens to the body, the energy, the mind, when that life force is retained and transmuted?
A Non-Penetrative Practice
Six months into this vow, I found myself in the presence of a woman who completely disarmed me. Our connection was electric, and the invitation between us was clear. She stood naked before me, open, calling—not with words, but with her body, her breath, her gaze. Everything in me responded.
But I had made a commitment to myself. I wanted to honor it. Still, something deeper began moving, and a wild, divine intelligence took over.
Without thinking, I began to beat my penis—not inside her—but against her vulva, through vaginal tapping. Like a sacred drumstick, I followed a rhythm that didn’t come from my mind. It was ancient. It was her. It was the Source.
I was transferring months of retained sexual energy into this rhythmic, reverent act. I was fully present, fully awake. And then, something extraordinary happened.
The Rain of Sacred Waters Begins
She began to ejaculate. Not once. Not in a trickle. She began to gush—again and again. The mattress beneath us soaked. We moved to another bed. It happened again. And again.
I had never seen or imagined anything like it. I had experienced sacred sexuality before. I had witnessed unity, danced with madness, crossed the edge of death in ecstatic surrender. But this… this was new.
This was a feminine eruption of divine consciousness..
Something ancient was being remembered, by her body, and mine.
Read: The Sacred Yoni, Female Arousal, & Energetic Awakening
When the Body Teaches What Books Cannot
I needed to understand. My academic mind kicked in, I was preparing a PhD in sexology at the time, and had long defended the reality of female ejaculation. I had met skepticism from peers, denials from professors, and silence from the mainstream. Still, I had never read or been taught what I had just witnessed.
So I turned to the only place that could possibly hold an answer, ancestral wisdom.
I came across the Rwandan tradition of Kunyaza, a centuries-old practice specifically designed to awaken female pleasure and ejaculation.
The Story of Kunyaza Across East African Countries
Kunyaza is a traditional East African sexual practice focused on external stimulation of the female genitals to increase sexual pleasure and encourage female ejaculation (often referred to as squirting or Amrita orgasm).
Kunyaza does not involve penetration of the vagina. Instead, stimulation is applied to the labia, labia minora, and clitoris, especially the glans, using rhythmic tapping, rubbing, or brushing. The stimulation can be done with fingers or with the penis used externally, making repeated contact with the vulva.
In Rwanda, they never forgot what the West denied; that the waters of a woman are sacred. That her ejaculation is a source of pleasure, healing, and even cosmic balance.
There are oral traditions in Rwanda that link female ejaculation to environmental balance, suggesting that the release of a woman’s waters supports fertility, rain, and abundance. If women stop ejaculating, the waters of the world, the rains, rivers, and lakes, will also begin to dry. Female ejaculation is life-giving, elemental, and purely divine.
Kunyaza involves a rhythmic tapping, rubbing, and teasing of the vulvar region, avoiding penetration to build energy, presence, and surrender. Elders pass it on through whispered teachings.
This sexual practice has been practiced for centuries throughout the Great Lakes region, including areas of Uganda and Kenya. In these cultures, young men were explicitly taught that immediate penetration was considered crude and ineffective. Before intercourse was even discussed, they were trained to understand female arousal and the importance of sustained external stimulation. A man’s sexual ability was judged by whether his partner experienced pleasure and release.
External stimulation of the clitoris, labia majora, and surrounding vulvar tissue and female genitalia was therefore considered essential preparation. The idea that women “take longer” was not a cause of frustration, but as a reason to slow down and invite presence into the sexual act.
Western Science is Still Catching Up
Despite ancient knowledge, female ejaculation remains one of the most misunderstood phenomena in modern sexual science. Some studies have confirmed that the fluid expelled during ejaculation is released from the Skene’s glands.
But even today, many doctors and educators dismiss female ejaculation as “just pee,” driven by outdated beliefs or lack of exposure.
Worse, cultural shame and repression prevent many women from even exploring the possibility.
How many women have felt the urge to release, only to hold it back in fear that they would urinate? How many men have misunderstood this gift as something messy or dirty?
Read: Why Sensual Pleasure Creates Happiness & Deep Satisfaction
Tantra and The Importance of Female Pleasure
In the Tantric tradition, the goal is not orgasm, but presence.
The moment we turn ejaculation into a goal or achievement, we fall back into the trap of performance, which takes out out of a state of presence, that could lead to and expansion of our consciousness.
Tantra reminds us, let go. Surrender to what wants to arise.
What matters is consciousness, what matters is awareness. What matters is meeting each moment with reverence and love.
As the West rushes to “discover” Kunyaza it must do so with humility, and let the wisdom of Rwanda, of ancient feminine memory rise again.
For too long, the feminine body has been dismissed and controlled. But she remembers.
In her release, she awakens.
In her waters, she returns.
In her Amrita, we all are born again.
FAQ
What is the rwandan secret to female pleasure?
The Rwandan “secret” to female pleasure is prioritising slow external stimulation before penetration and treating female orgasm as a normal, expected response rather than a problem.
In Rwanda, sexual practices such as Kunyaza and gukuna developed because people observed that most women did not experience pleasure or orgasm when sex began with penetration of the vaginal opening. Instead of blaming women’s bodies, the sexual approach changed.
External stimulation of the clitoris, labia, and surrounding tissue was emphasised long before penetration, allowing arousal to build fully. This produced more consistent female orgasm. Modern sexologists now confirm what these traditions understood, that female pleasure is primarily driven by external stimulation, and sexual response improves when penetration is delayed rather than rushed.
What is the African way of love making?
There is no single African way of lovemaking, but in cultures where Kunyaza and gukuna were practiced, lovemaking followed an arousal-based sequence rather than a penetration-first model. In these traditions, sex did not begin at the vaginal opening and did not revolve around chasing the G-spot. Instead, external stimulation of the clitoris, labia, and vulva came first, often for extended periods, with penetration introduced only once the body was clearly aroused and responsive.
Can every woman squirt?
No, not every woman squirts, and squirting is not required for female orgasm or healthy sexual function. Squirting is one possible physiological response that occurs in some women when arousal is sustained and the tissues around the urethra relax, but many women experience deep orgasm without releasing fluid.
What matters more than squirting is whether arousal has been allowed to build properly. Even among sexologists, there is agreement that turning squirting into a goal creates pressure and interferes with pleasure.
