Navigating Sexuality and Menopause: Challenges and Solutions

Jan 23, 2025
sexuality and menopause

Menopause, often viewed with trepidation, is a natural transition that can significantly impact a woman’s sexual experience. Hormonal changes, such as reduced estrogen, can lead to vaginal dryness and discomfort during sexual activities, resulting in painful sex.

Like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, this phase offers an opportunity for transformation and renewed sensuality. While some women may face a dip in libido, others discover a newfound sexual liberation, free from the constraints of hormonal fluctuations and pregnancy concerns.

 

Understanding Menopause, Sexuality, and Sexual Desire

Emotionally and psychologically, menopause can be a rollercoaster. Mood swings, anxiety, and self-image concerns may temporarily dampen sexual desire, and for some women, menopause can lead to a decrease in sex drive.

Yet, this period also offers a chance for deep introspection and alignment with one’s true self. As women shed societal expectations and embrace their authentic selves, many find a renewed zest for life and intimacy.

For More Support on Thriving Through Menopause and Perimenopause:

 

Physical Changes

Low Sexual Desire During Menopause

The physical changes accompanying menopause can be seen as an invitation to rediscover one’s body. As estrogen levels decrease, the body adapts, sometimes leading to changes in sexual response. However, these changes don’t diminish the capacity for pleasure; they simply require a shift in approach.

This period can be an excellent time to explore new forms of intimacy. Tantric practices, for instance, focus on full-body awareness and can lead to profound, orgasmic experiences that transcend traditional notions of sexuality. The increased sensitivity many women experience can turn a simple caress or even a gentle breeze into a source of exquisite pleasure.

Regular sexual activity, whether with a partner or through self-pleasure, can help maintain vaginal health and elasticity. It’s a classic case of “use it or lose it,"" where staying sexually active can actually help mitigate some of the physical challenges of menopause. Menopause can lead to changes in vaginal tissue, making sex uncomfortable or painful, but various treatment options are available to alleviate these symptoms and enhance sexual health.

 

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Embrace Your Sexuality Through Menopause

Menopause is a journey of transformation, not an end. It’s an opportunity to rediscover your sensuality and embrace a new phase of life with confidence. Our online course, “Goddess Unveiled,” can arm you with tools that guides you through this transition. Join us and turn this phase into one of empowerment and renewed intimacy.

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Managing Vaginal Dryness

Vaginal dryness, while common, need not be a roadblock to sexual satisfaction. It’s crucial to approach this symptom not as an insurmountable obstacle, but as a puzzle to be solved creatively. To treat vaginal dryness after menopause, various methods can be employed, ranging from over-the-counter remedies to prescription treatments. The discomfort associated with vaginal dryness – including itching and burning – can indeed lead to a loss of interest in sex. However, armed with knowledge and the right tools, women can overcome this challenge.

Over-the-counter lubricants and moisturizers are readily available and can provide immediate relief. However, it is good to be aware that in the field of aroma therapy of wellness, they advise that whatever you put on your skin should be edible. Because in fact the skin is an organ, the largest organ of our body. Whatever you put on your skin is going to be absorbed inside of you, for better or for worse.

So I advise that you only go for organic and edible types of lubricant. My Ayurvedic Doctor has informed me that putting a little bit of edible coconut oil inside the Yoni regularly will gradually improve the inner condition of the Yoni including the production of natural lubrication.

Taking half a teaspoon of organic evening primrose oil can also be an excellent solution. Just half a teaspoon daily can help restore natural lubrication, offering a simple yet effective remedy.

Regular sexual activity plays a crucial role in maintaining vaginal health. Increased blood flow to the vagina during arousal and orgasm helps maintain the elasticity of vaginal tissues and stimulates natural lubrication. This creates a positive feedback loop – the more sexually active you are, the more your body supports sexual function. However, it is good to remember that you shouldn’t expect yourself to as horny as you were in your early 20s or 30s.

You may not need as many orgasms as you did then. Always listen to your body and trust her ebbs and flows of energy. Even if you don’t feel like having orgasm every time you make love, this should not be an issue. There is such a wide range of sexual pleasure and joy that there is no need to be fixated on a goal. If your body wishes to have orgasm, great! If your body doesn’t need orgasm at this time, don’t force it.

 

Navigating Emotional and Relational Changes

Building a Stronger Connection with Your Partner

Monogamous Relationship

As your body changes, so too can your relationship evolve into something richer and more profound. The key lies in open, honest communication about your needs, desires, and the changes you’re experiencing.

This is an ideal time to explore new dimensions of intimacy. Practicing Tantra with a partner can be a transformative experience. Tantra focuses on the connection between partners, emphasizing sensuality, ritual and mindfulness over purely physical acts. This approach can help increase sexual arousal and sensitivity, leading to more fulfilling intimate experiences.

It’s important to recognize that intimacy extends beyond sexual intercourse. Cuddling, sharing a bed, holding hands, or simply spending quality time together can be deeply fulfilling. These activities foster emotional closeness and can help maintain a strong bond even when sexual activity might be less frequent.

 

Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life

Expanding your definition of sex beyond intercourse can open up new avenues of pleasure and connection. Exploring different forms of intimate touch, oral sex, or the exchange of intimate massage can reignite sexual interest and desire. These activities can be less physically demanding and may be more comfortable for those experiencing vaginal dryness or discomfort, which can make sex uncomfortable.

Expanding Your Horizons

Incorporating sex toys and exploring new sexual enhancement products can add novelty and increase pleasure. Using Tachyonized pleasure products like yoni eggs or pleasure wands can enhance sensitivity and enjoyment. These tools can be particularly helpful in awakening and spreading sensations throughout the body.

Regular sexual activity, whether with a partner or through self-pleasure, is crucial for maintaining vaginal health. It increases blood flow to the vagina, helping to maintain lubrication and elasticity. This creates a positive cycle - the more sexually active you are, the more your body supports sexual function.

 

Living Your Best Life

Menopause affect

Menopause is not an end, but a beginning, a gateway to a new phase of life rich with potential and wisdom. Embracing this transition with positivity and self-love can transform it from a challenging period into an opportunity for personal growth and renewed vitality. It is also important to practice safe sex even after menopause, as the risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) persists.

A holistic approach to health becomes paramount during this time. Getting adequate sleep, engaging in regular physical activity, and maintaining a balanced diet are foundational elements for navigating menopause gracefully. These lifestyle choices not only support overall well-being but also play a crucial role in maintaining a fulfilling sex life.

 

 

Lifestyle Tips for a Vibrant Menopausal Experience

Menopausal Symptoms

Physical activity, in particular, deserves special attention. Activities like dancing or trekking in nature can be both invigorating and pleasurable. Exercise not only helps manage weight and improve cardiovascular health but also boosts mood and energy levels, contributing to a more positive outlook on life and sexuality.

An accepting attitude towards change is key to thriving during menopause. This is a time to shed old narratives and embrace new possibilities. You're entering the phase of the "wise woman," containing all previous life phases within you. This perspective allows for a more expansive and inclusive view of sexuality and self.

Managing symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats can significantly improve quality of life. Consult a qualified Chinese medicine practitioner for acupuncture and herbs; this offers a natural approach to managing these symptoms. Finding effective ways to handle these physical challenges can free up energy and attention for more pleasurable pursuits.

 

New Creative Projects Are Essential During and After Menopause

When the reproductive years come to an end, some women experience depression, losing the will to live, because they are no longer able to create ‘new life.’ It is good to remember that the urge to create new life and nurture it, is a highly creative act but it is not the only form of creativity available to you. By choosing new forms of creativity, you will boost your will to live and simultaneously, your libido and your passion for each precious moment.

 

What About Pheromones? 

With the onset of menopause, it comes as a shock to many women, that men may not respond to you in the same way as previously. This happens because we are not producing the same level of pheromones that entice a mate to wish to impregnate us. The effect of pheromones in human sexual attraction is still not fully understood by science, but it is quite obvious to post menopausal women that men may not turn their heads, flirt or try to seduce you in the same way as before. Many women try to mask the hormonal change by coloring their hair or going for cosmetic surgery. However, biology and chemistry is much stronger than anything our minds can make up. 

One example of how powerful biological instinct is, was revealed through a simple study done regarding ovulation and how it affects men, even if they don’t consciously know that this is happening. 

A group of men were shown the photos of 6 very beautiful women. They were asked to choose which women they were more attracted to among the six. All the men chose the photo of the one woman who was ovulating when the photo was taken! The cues nature sends are not just visual, but are emerging from each and every aspect of our life force energy, including scent, sound, taste and even very subtle scents being emitted from skin, hair and sweat glands. 

The bottom line is, if we wish to be alluring to men after we have passed through menopause, it is essential we are attractive to ourselves. We cannot rely solely on biology anymore. Women after menopause need to cultivate her bubbling joy and vibrancy, with her way of life including sensuality, creativity and spiritual fulfillment. This way of being may or may not attract a mate, but it will certainly bring deepest fulfillment on multi-levels of being. 

 

The Wise Woman Phenomenon

From the age of 42, a woman’s energy will begin slowly moving into a process of ascension. She will usually become much more interested in spirituality and other exotic pursuits. After menopause, depending on how this transition has been navigated, she will automatically begin developing more psychic sensitivity and profound inner wisdom will blossom in her.

She may even surprise herself that she begins feeling a desire to be of service to her community, helping out where she can. Becoming a Wise Woman and Healer, is part of the evolutionary drive that comes with the aging process. Women very naturally gravitate towards helping the next generation to find their ground and their inner peace.

A surprising study found that as a woman ages, she responds very powerfully to the smell of the top of a baby's head, leading to an instinctual desire to nurture and play with the baby. This proves that women are very naturally drawn to becoming ‘grandmothers’ caring for the new generation without the stresses of being an actual mother.

She is designed by nature to want to ‘help out.’ As the saying goes, 'it takes a village to raise a child.' A post-menopausal woman plays an important role in the nurturing of new generations with her grace, lightness of heart and deep wisdom. 

 

The Mystery of Woman’s Sexuality

It remains a mystery in the scientific world, why women after menopause continue to be capable of multiple orgasms. A wide range of women, including women in their nineties were found to still be experiencing multiple orgasms. When my mother was 85, I was really curious about her sexuality. So I asked her, “mum, do you still experience sexual desire?” “Yes, of course,” she answered.

“And how about Orgasm?” I asked. “Do you still have orgasm?” She rolled her eyes as if to say, “duh” and added, “yes, I certainly do!” I then asked her, “Do you still have natural lubrication?” She affirmed that she did. We chatted about this for some time and she confessed to me, that if she didn’t look into the mirror, she would completely forget she had aged because she still felt the same desire for love and sexual intimacy as in her younger days. 

It has also been discovered in studies on women’s genitals and sexual response, that women’s genitals continue developing, enlarging and producing pleasure well into old age. Scientists are perplexed about this as it seems an anomaly. Perhaps it is because the clitoris and clitoral network are the only organ in the human body that has 8000–10,000 nerve endings devoted only to pleasure. Nature would like life to be pleasure and bliss based and this organ serves that purpose, no matter what the age. 

 

Ma Ananda Sarita

My Personal Approach to Vibrant Health

Many women ask me what my secret is for  maintaining vibrant health and energy. Of course, each person is unique. So what works for one person may not work for another. Please take what I am saying here as an inspiration, not as commandments. Each woman needs to find her own special path through life and her own unique protocols for self-care and joy. So if you resonate with what I am sharing, great! If you don’t resonate, this is also fine.

 

My top 10 tips for Vibrant Health and a Joyful Lifestyle

1. Food

I have been vegetarian since 1973 and vegan since 1996. I avoid the following foods: sugar, garlic, gluten, eggplants. MSG, Aspartame, coffee, black tea, alcohol. I eat only organic and use only whole grains as much as possible. I take care to drink high quality water.

2. Intermittent Fasting

I leave 16 hours between the last meal of the day and the first meal the following morning. This means, dinner is completed by 5:30pm or 6:00pm. Brunch is in the morning at 9:30am or 10:00am. My main meal is at Brunch. In the early afternoon, I may have a small snack consisting of fruits. Dinner is usually just soup and salad or something else light yet nourishing. I follow this way of eating as recommended by Chinese Medicine and also by Ayurveda. (The digestive fire is highest between 10:00am—1:00pm, so it makes sense to eat the largest meal in the morning.)

3. Healing Arts

I practice various holistic healing methods for self-healing. I also go each year for an Ayurveda Pancha Karma Retreat which lasts one month. This is a rebirth and rejuvenation process which includes purging, herbal enemas, massage, nurturing rejuvenation processes, yoga, walks in nature, eating Sattvic food according to my personal constitution and regular consultations with the Ayurvedic Doctor. 

4. Beauty

I receive massage at least once a week. I receive an organic facial every six weeks. I use only organic beauty products, and indeed, have created my own beauty products line using aromatherapy and other organic ingredients.

5. Exercise

I practice Yoga regularly and love to go walking in nature, swimming in the sea and dancing. 

6. Conscious Emotional Fluidity

If strong emotions surface, or any difficulties in interactions with others, I process my emotions through various techniques that help me get clear and find inner peace. These techniques include Osho Pillow Beating Meditation; Osho Becoming The Emotions Meditation, The Projection Exercise, Whole Listening or the Forgiveness Method. 

7. Pleasure

I practice Tantra, whether alone or with a partner. Even if enjoying self pleasuring, I make a divine ritual out of it, applying Tantra Techniques to increase inner ecstasy. I also use a Tachyonized Pleasure wand with my self-pleasure rituals.

8. Spirituality

I have been meditating since 1973 and indeed, meditation is my best friend in this life. I love both active and silent meditation and this supports me to continue growing and evolving spiritually. I also love to go on Sacred Tours to various spots that hold spiritual energy, such as those places, (caves or monasteries) where Enlightened beings have lived and meditated.

9. Learning

Life is a school and learning never ends! I am passionate about so many subjects and love to read and to watch informative videos.

10. Celebration

To me, life is a celebration of love. I enjoy Joke Fests with friends, where we tell jokes for hours on end and laugh. I love to create or attend Festivals, where an abundance of shared joy is in the air. I love dance parties, without alcohol or drugs where the high is entirely natural!

 

Conclusion

The journey through menopause and its impact on sexuality is unique for every woman, yet it's a path that need not be walked alone or in fear. While challenges may arise, they are accompanied by opportunities for growth, deeper self-understanding, and even enhanced sexual experiences.

Remember, as studies have shown, women can continue to experience sexual pleasure and multiple orgasms well into their later years. The key is maintaining an open mind, a willingness to adapt, and a commitment to self-care, pleasure and joy.

 

Ma Ananda Sarita

Author

Ma Ananda Sarita

Ma Ananda Sarita is a Tantra master, initiated into Tantra in 1973 by Osho. With over 30 years of teaching experience, she offers courses and retreats worldwide. As the voice behind this blog, Sarita offers readers a glimpse into the power of Tantra.

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